As leaders, we’ve all encountered that team member who’s just a lot. You know the one—they’re bursting with ideas, buzzing with energy, and, frankly, overwhelming to be around. Their contributions are valuable, but their presence? Exhausting.
Recently, I was listening to Howie Mandel interview Bill Burr on Howie’s podcast. It was a fascinating conversation, but one moment struck a chord. Howie asked Bill why he’d never been cast in any of Bill’s projects. Bill’s response was brutally honest:
“Howie, you’re just a lot. It’s not about your talent. You’re a triple threat. But when it comes to someone I want to hang with for hours on end, you’re not that guy. You’re a lot.”
That stopped me in my tracks. How many times have I been overlooked because someone perceived me as “a lot”? And how many times have I, as a leader, struggled to work with someone who was equally “a lot”?
This isn’t just about managing personalities. It’s about recognizing the impact of high-intensity individuals on your team dynamics, culture, and outcomes. Let’s unpack this from two angles:
1. What to do if you’re the person who’s “a lot.”
2. How to lead effectively when someone on your team is “a lot.”
Are You “A Lot”? Here’s How to Manage Yourself.
First, let’s acknowledge something important: Being “a lot” isn’t inherently bad. People who are high-energy, deeply passionate, or endlessly creative can drive incredible results. The problem isn’t your talent—it’s the way your energy affects those around you.
If you’ve ever wondered whether you might fall into this category, here are three signs:
1. You dominate conversations. Your enthusiasm can unintentionally steamroll others’ ideas.
2. You’re unpredictable. While your creativity is a gift, inconsistency in behavior or emotional responses can make people uneasy.
3. You drain energy instead of fueling it. People may leave interactions with you feeling overwhelmed rather than inspired.
If this resonates, here’s how to self-regulate:
1. Practice Strategic Self-Awareness.
Leadership requires clarity, and clarity starts with self-awareness. Use a tool like the Cloverleaf Platform to assess how your personality impacts others. Ask for feedback from trusted colleagues. You might hear hard truths, but those insights are the key to growth.
2. Simplify Your Communication.
Be intentional about how you share ideas. Focus on clarity and simplicity. Instead of throwing out ten ideas in a meeting, prioritize one or two that are most relevant. Think of this as systems-thinking for your personality—cut the clutter to make room for impact.
3. Match Your Energy to the Room.
High-intensity leaders often struggle to read the emotional temperature of a team. Pause and observe. If your team is stressed, bring calm energy. If they’re disengaged, dial up the enthusiasm—but not to the point of overwhelm.
Leading Someone Who’s “A Lot”
Now, let’s flip the script. You’ve got someone on your team who’s immensely talented but challenging to manage. They’re a walking paradox: vital to your success but a constant source of friction. How do you handle this?
1. Leverage the TEAMS Methodology.
One of the pillars of the TEAMS framework is alignment. A “lot” person often operates outside the team’s rhythm, creating misalignment. Sit down with them and establish clear expectations. Define their role in the system, clarify communication norms, and emphasize the importance of collaboration.
2. Provide Guardrails, Not Shackles.
People who are “a lot” thrive on freedom but struggle with boundaries. Create systems that give them structure without stifling their creativity. For example, if they tend to hijack meetings, set a rule: Every team member gets two minutes to speak before discussions open up.
3. Focus on Strengths Without Ignoring Impact.
It’s easy to fixate on the frustration someone causes, but effective leadership means seeing their strengths. Call out their positive contributions regularly. At the same time, don’t shy away from addressing behaviors that disrupt team dynamics. Use a mix of direct feedback and coaching to help them channel their energy productively.
4. Build Systems for Feedback.
One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is avoiding tough conversations. High-intensity personalities need consistent, clear feedback. Create a regular cadence for one-on-ones to address issues early and often.
The Bigger Picture
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: We’ve all been “a lot” at some point in our careers. Whether it’s a stressful season, a passion project gone too far, or a personality quirk that rubs people the wrong way, no one is immune.
But here’s the opportunity: Leaders who master the art of navigating “a lot” personalities—whether in themselves or others—unlock incredible potential. These individuals can drive innovation, challenge the status quo, and inspire teams to reach new heights.
The key is clarity, simplicity, and systems-thinking. When you create an environment where high-impact individuals can thrive without disrupting the flow, you set your entire team up for success.
A Challenge for This Week
Take five minutes today to reflect:
• If you’re “a lot”: What’s one specific behavior you can adjust to make collaboration easier for those around you?
• If you’re leading someone who’s “a lot”: What’s one practical step you can take to align their strengths with your team’s needs?
Don’t overcomplicate it. Clarity and simplicity are your best tools.
And remember—being “a lot” isn’t a problem. It’s an opportunity to refine, align, and elevate. Lead with intention, and watch how the energy shifts.
Let’s keep building teams that thrive.
—Michael
About Michael King
I’m Michael King, an executive coach dedicated to helping Fortune 500 leaders like you craft clear, focused strategies that drive results. With years of experience guiding high-level executives through the challenges of leadership, team engagement, and effective communication, I’ve seen firsthand what works—and what doesn’t. My approach is straightforward, no-nonsense, and always aimed at creating systems that lead to sustained success. If you’re ready to take your leadership and your team’s performance to the next level, let’s schedule a time to chat. Together, we can develop a tailored strategy that aligns your team, amplifies your marketing efforts, and propels your business forward. Click below to book a call with me today!
